live poker etiquette

So I just got back from my local casino and I have a question regarding etiquette that came up...
I was playing in a tournament with about 25 entrees and we were down to the final 9. I had 7 effective BB's left and shoved ATs from the CO and got called by QQ in the bb. I ended up sucking him out and afterwards attempted to compliment him by saying nice hand. I didn't say it with any negative connotation and had been polite and talkative to everyone at the table up until that point. The guy really didn't care that I said "nice hand" and was more just disappointed that he lost the hand. But the dealer flipped total shit on me. For about half a second I thought he was joking until i suddenly realized how pissed off the dealer was. He started telling me how rude I was for saying that since "it wasn't a nice hand because he lost the hand". He started telling me how the guy was already pissed about losing the hand and how I was a "jerk for rubbing salt in the wound". I immediately apologized to the guy and everyone at the table for my comment but it really unnerved me and fucked up my head for the rest of the night. The way I saw it is if I was in an online tournament and I got sucked out and the guy who sucked me out had been polite all tournament and then said nh, I wouldn't be insulted at all.

The other thing is I've seen way worse behavior at the poker tables there before this. Last week one of the regs called out a guy's play as lucky and fishy and later bashed on an old woman for sucking him out on the river. I also saw an idiot cunt with 10k chips outta 210k on the final table start excessively celebrating because a guy won a three way pot knocking out two people (thinking she had a better chance at the money) and the dealer's didn't say shit to any of those incident's.

So I guess my question is, am I completely out of line for doing such a thing? I don't have any pride in this and if everyone tell's me, yeah you were an asshole, then I'll obviously agree and learn not to do such a thing. It just really mentally threw me off and I thought it was a borderline unethical move by the dealer (he basically painted a huge red X on my back). No matter what I'll make sure not to make that mistake again at that casino, but what do you guys think?

You can do whatever the fuck you want, dealer needs to stfu. I absolutely LOATHE when dealers go out of their way to call out a player when they're completely in-line with the rules.

And this is even when the players are admittedly being douches, what you did was 100% fine/common and I wouldn't be surprised if dealer was a personal friend of villain's (or was just on very friendly terms with him). You did NOTHING against the rules, dealer therefore should not say anything.

If you play regularly at the casino I'd bring it up to management. That's seriously out of line by the dealer, imo

Thanks man. That means a lot coming from a respectable/knowledgeable guy like you. I'm honestly really relieved to hear someone say that. Yeah I suspect the dealer knew the guy and was pissed for him. I'll bring it up to management if something like that happens again. I just couldn't believe how angry the dealer was for something so innocent - even if it was wrong.

Dealer needs to shut up unless someone is breaking the rules.


Generally I wouldn't say nice hand to the person who lost the pot, especially when I sucked out. Probably better off just shutting up in that situation.

yep, great advice, thanks man.

Dealer needs to STFU but he does have a point IMO. When I lose a hand I don't want the other player to say "NH" at all. It's kind of douchey.

Dealer way out of line. Personally i think when u say nh is because of the showdown or if he had a nice hand preflop id say it preflop, id never say nh to a guy who just lost a pot cuz thats not a nice hand to have

you seem overly nice, saying nh to the hand that lost is a bit bad, but i think dealer just trying to punk you because you too nice, toughen up, put your angry black guy face on!

you messed up. when you suck out youre supposed to yell "boom! cocktails!"

Even if you're openly berating your opponent, as long as you aren't yelling, cursing, or using slurs the dealer should remain silent. Whether its douchey or not table talk is part of the game.

I think what you did here (unintentionally it seems, you seem like a nice guy judging from this OP) is similar to "offensive GG"-ing in games like SC2, DotA, etc. It's really rude and BM if you do it on purpose, and since it's "the thing" to do, everyone who wants to be BM does it to rub the win in. If you want to be nice, just apologize and then tell your opponent that he played well (imo. Doesn't hurt to do it even if you think otherwise in my experience, it goes a long way if you're playing mostly the same people that's my 2c).

Saying "NH" like you did just comes across pretty badly, but still, it's not the dealer's job to lecture you, and especially not like this.

Thanks for the responses guys. I'll definitely not make that mistake again. I would add that I was complimenting his hand preflop as well. When we flipped the cards I thought I was ahead and when he showed QQ I said something like "oh man, i'm in trouble, nice hand".

It just really threw me off and the more i think about how the dealer reacted the more it pisses me off. I stopped being able to think clearly and lost count of my chips/big blinds and it took me about 20 mins to mentally recover.And like I said players started attacking me a lot more trying to knock me out. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing but I find it somewhat unethical since that was caused by the dealer. I'm a fucking sweetheart when I play live and I probably need to toughen up a bit to mentally handle situations like that if they occur again.

If it takes you 20mins to recover from a conversation you should rethink playing poker

Dealer should stfu, obviously this isnt a huge deal.

Imo saying NH in that situation is like saying GG when you're winning in a SC game, even though you've been nice and you don't mean it offensively it's still kinda annoying, you should only say nice hand when you lost in my personal opinion.

--- Nuked ---

On October 21 2012 09:33 SoC wrote: If it takes you 20mins to recover from a conversation you should rethink playing poker

how often do you personally get berated by dealers in live play?

Pretty much what every one else said. Bad etiquette to say nh when you're raking in the other guy's chips no matter how it played out, but way worse dealer etiquette for saying anything.

lol was it jed?

i swear that guy is fucking hilarious but is kinda retarded.

For starters you are saying it wrong. Replace every instance where you describe a suckout using the word "out" with the word "off" instead. Anyway yeah it seems kinda funny to say nice hand to the guy who lost. I've only complimented a losing hand when it's something like I see his hand, but before the board is dealt since I'm basically expecting to lose. You know, as soon as he flips up QQ I'm like "ouch, nice hand".

On October 21 2012 10:13 hording wrote: Dealer should stfu, obviously this isnt a huge deal. Imo saying NH in that situation is like saying GG when you're winning in a SC game, even though you've been nice and you don't mean it offensively it's still kinda annoying, you should only say nice hand when you lost in my personal opinion.

It made me think about offensive gg in sc as well.

But an even better comparison maybe is in tennis, when you hit the net so that the ball just barely bounces over to the opponents side. It is more similar, as it is an "undeserved" win due to luck. Etiquette in tennis in that situation is that the winner of the ball apologises with a raised hand. "Sorry for stealing the ball." Maybe something similar is appropriate here?

I have no clue about poker though, so nevermind me if it doesn't make sense.